"I know you can be overwhelmed, and you can be underwhelmed, but can you ever just be whelmed?"
(That line is from one of my favorite movies, '10 Things I Hate About You', a remake of the classic Shakespeare play "The Taming of the Shrew," set in a modern day high school. It has Julia Stiles and Heath Ledger, both actors I enjoy, and honestly the only romantic comedy in which Julia Stiles is able to pull off an actual "connection" with her paramour… don't get me started on her other poor choices in romantic comedies.)
I haven't blogged much since Adam left for school, and for that I am sorry. Our lives have been pretty rote, other than the few splashes of color that Adam has mentioned in his blogs, thus alleviating me of finding the energy to write about them.
The above quote pretty well describes life. I'm not necessarily overwhelmed, I'm definitely not underwhelmed, but the word "busy" doesn't really seem to fit either, so we'll just say that I am whelmed.
First I'll start by saying that things are going well. It hasn't been a picnic being a full-time worker bee and single mother for the last three-and-a-half weeks, but it hasn't been as hard as I could have imagined in my moments of sheer panic leading up to Adam's departure.
The first week Adam was gone, both girls came down with a bad cold and fever, and that flowed into the following week. Working a lot of nights and juggling back-up daycare allowed for me to care for them and also work the number of hours I needed to, and miraculously I didn't end up with the cold/fever that the girls had. And, thankfully, Miss Amy's daughter was well enough by the 18th so that I was able to go and visit Adam in Chicago for the weekend.
This last week was our first "normal" week in that no one was sick and we had a regular routine. We're wont to go to the library in the evenings a couple of nights a week, Wednesday seems to have become our regular Video Chat with Daddy night, and the girls have been awesome about bedtime and morning time and pretty much they are awesome all of the time.
This last weekend Adam came home so that I could attend my annual quilt retreat… I think Chrissy was supposed to talk to Adam about making sure I could come back each year for it once we move.
Also, I have been attending a Parenting with Love & Logic class on Tuesdays at noon/lunchtime so that I can spend some time with adults. Also, who doesn't love free pizza?
Due to our daycare/work schedule, I don't have a lot of "down time" or time to myself other than these couple of weekend jaunts which have been a Godsend. Most evenings after the girls go to bed, I head back to work. I won't be one of those bloggers who writes about her job and then gets fired, but I will say this - I officially hate working at night. Mainly because I have NO time to do anything for myself unless I carve it into my evening, which means I end up staying up way too late and then I have a hard time getting up in the morning. I have been occasionally able to crawl out of bed before the kids to get in a workout, and that does wonders for my mood and gives me lots of energy – even if it doesn't fall under the "fun" category! However, after having a taste this last weekend, I cannot tell you how much I have missed my sewing and knitting the last almost-four weeks.
Some days I wonder if today will be the day that Adam being gone causes the girls to go utterly insane on me, headed towards a place from which only he can retrieve them. However, so far they have stayed pretty stable. Julia tends to be the more vocal one of the two about Adam being gone and often talks about whether Adam is coming home soon, asks if we can talk to him on the 'puter, and reaffirms that things around the house are Daddy's. Each night as we come home from daycare, we pull up to the house and she says, "Julia's house?" "Yes." "Raven's house?" "Yes." "Mommy's house?" "Yes." "Daddy's house?" "Yes." "Daddy's truck?" "Yes." "Daddy's truck is BLUE!" (You might be tickled to know that the garage is simply "Daddy's garage." Apparently she knows that Mommy has no ownership there. Ha!)
Otherwise, there are other things in our lives going on that I can't talk about here, but suffice to know that this still feels like the right path for us. I've had my moments where I've felt as though I could utterly fall apart, but I have good friends who support me and remind me of why we're doing this, what our goals are, and how important it is to Listen and Heed. (Thank you, dear friends!)
ps. I wrote this post before picking the girls up from daycare and just picked them up and am home again. Julia said to me, as we were leaving daycare, "We go pick up daddy?" I replied, "No, Daddy is in Chicago." She asks, "Why?" (She's a little late, but she finally asks "why" about EVERYTHING.) I said, "Daddy is in school." "Oh, school," she says, "I know school. Daddy does puzzles? And shares?" My response to that, "Why yes, Daddy HAS been doing puzzles." HA HA HA! I laughed the rest of the way home!