Step 5: Tell Everyone You Know

I find it comical that when I first considered writing this post, this clip from “The Wedding Singer” popped into my head:

You Spin Me Right Round (Unfortunately I cannot insert the video!)

So why did this clip pop into my head?  Because I’ve been here before.  I’m back at the beginning of my never-ending circle. 

But, before I even started reading The Nonrunner’s Marathon Guide for Women by Dawn Dais, I had signed up for a half marathon in South Carolina.  It’s in December; five and a half months away.  It’s on Kiawah Island; a place that has quickly become one of my favorite places to sleep overnight thanks to a dear friend and her condo.

To be able to successfully complete a half marathon (which, believe it or not, I have done before in Des Moines), one needs to train.  To train, one needs to want to do it.  One needs to make the decision to do it.

Back to that record.  Did you read that I’ve already run a half marathon?  That’s because I did.  In fact, I very slowly jogged the last few miles simply because I knew if I stopped jogging/running, I wouldn’t be able to start again.  But I did it.  And then I stopped.  I stopped running.  I stopped. 

There are questions that I can’t answer like, “Why now?”  I don’t know.  I guess today is as good as any.  “Why at all?”  Well, I guess, why not?  Regardless, having already signed up for the half, I knew I needed to start training again (that’s a different story for a different day).  As I was preparing to leave for Jury Duty yesterday, Adam told me to bring a book.  The one mentioned above was sitting on my desk.  Why not?  I started to read it, and it’s a great book for me to read because it is as sarcastic as it is not, it is straight and real.

Now remember, I’ve already made the decision, so chapter one was a little “late” to be reading, but it had some really good thoughts/advice, and Step 5 is, “Tell Everyone You Know.”  The reasons why make me crack up like, “Frankly, when you start to feel weak and sad and sore and broken, it’s easier to just keep going than to try to explain why you quit.”  So here I am, telling everyone I know.

My real goal?  To break the record.  To stop spinning around.  At one point when I thought to write this blog post tonight, I was going to get super personal and down right emptying of myself, but I no longer feel the need.  Telling you is enough.  I will, perhaps, save the rest for another day.

Erin

ps.  I’m running a half marathon in December.

Kids & Words

Here’s another quick little snapshot of the words our kids hear or make up…

“Betend” – It’s not PREtend – it’s BEtend.  As in, “I am betending to be a princess.”  (As said by Julia.  Of course, in her case, more often than not she simply says, “I am a princess.”  Touché, Julia, touché.)

“Elmo-U-S-E!” – That’s right – the Mickey Elmo-use Club!  Again, another one brought to you by Julia, as opposed to Sesame Street.  As she sings the Mickey Mouse Club song, she belts out, “M-I-C-K-E-Y Elmo-U-S-E!”

“Ticklish” – The funny thing about “ticklish” is that it’s actually a word… but not the way Raven uses it.  Raven thinks that “licorice” is actually called “ticklish”, and asks me for “ticklish” when she knows it’s in the house.  Daddy and the girls bought me a bag of Red Vines yesterday as a gift, and they are all the rage in our house.

“Almost Anything Anna says” – I’ll say this for Anna – she has a superb vocabulary.  She says a lot of words and she says a lot of them well.  However, I realized last night while going through a book with her that much of it is because of context that I understand what she is actually saying.  She drops a lot of consonants, so that makes things a little difficult at time, but we work it out, as most parents with two- and three-year-olds are wont to do.  Horse = Orsie; Tiger = Iger; Bird = Bird (Julia says, “MOM.  That’s a macaw.  Make her say ‘macaw’.”  Mom to Anna, “Bird.”  Anna replies, “Bird”.  Dang kids who can read and spell already………..)

Happy Monday!
Erin

Wonder Woman Does Not Live Here

From my vantage point, I see scraps of paper and doll clothes lying on the floor.  The blankets are in a heap on the couch, and the chalkboard is a drying rack (I wondered where that towel went; I never thought to look there).  The girls found blocks out on the porch; evidence from our weekend fun, which ended two days ago.  There’s the basket of clothes I still haven’t taken to the thrift store, I am pretty certain there is food on the floor under the kids’ table, and the pile of laundry that I vanquished last Thursday has returned.

We had pancakes for dinner because we really need groceries.

I am not Super Wife or Super Mom.

But.

My kids were pretty happy to spend time with Daddy tonight working on school workbooks while Mommy took a quick nap.  Julia was pleased as punch to show me a new ballet jumping move (how many times did I try that as a kid – she sure thought she was flying).  Anna used the word “yes” with me more than the word “no” tonight.  Raven asked me to make her bed pretty for the umpteenth time.  We had a fort with those blankets on the couch and the kids love pancakes.  Anna doesn’t mind snacking on random cereal bits from the floor, and thankfully we have more clothes than we can shake a stick at so who cares if the laundry gets done.

I have Amazing Kids.

And.

I received a promotion and a raise at work yesterday.  I was asked to fill a role almost three months ago that I wouldn’t have expected to achieve for a few years yet, and while it’s tiresome and robs me of time and the commute is long, they picked me to fill that role permanently, and that’s saying a lot.  I’m the first woman and the first person under the age of 40 to fill this role on this program.  I have a heart for my team and want to see them succeed.  I have a lot to learn but I have amazing mentors.  I’m learning to accept opportunities and not rest in pride cloaked with humility.

Yesterday I was reminded by my boss that I had told her about a year and a half ago that I wanted her job some day.  And I won’t get there by holding back. 

Still not Wonder Woman.

The proverbial Wonder Woman can Do It All and Have It All and Be Everything to Everyone.  I confess I don’t know much about the actual Wonder Woman other than that I had a Wonder Woman underoos set as a child and recall swallowing a nickel while wearing it and thankfully didn’t land in the hospital.  In my mind Wonder Woman doesn’t have to make choices because she can simply do it all.  But that’s not true for me; it’s not true for most people and most moms.

Every choice has a consequence.  Consequence has a negative connotation, but the definition isn’t negative; it simply means a result or outcome.  Each choice I make has a result – I choose to work and succeed at my job and the outcome is that described above.  There are days that I would change it all if I could – and most people try to tell me that I can and I should – but it’s not that easy.  And I don’t know that I want to.  And it wouldn’t make me anymore Wonder Woman.  There would simply be different outcomes.  The question is whether or not the current results would be outweighed by the potential results.  Greener grass and the like.  And I don’t know that and can’t know that unless I make a different choice.

I don’t have a reason for this blog post other than that I have a lot of rumblings in my head that make me question what I am doing and the choices that I’ve made and whether or not they are the right ones.  There are no changes on the horizon.  But that doesn’t mean that I don’t consider the alternatives and what they might look like and whether there might be a better option.

So for tonight, I’ll accept the choices I’ve made and rest my weary brain as my girls flit around me, make forts, eat pancakes, and sneak in snuggles with me while I take a nap.

Anna

Catching two on camera is like trying to catch the wind.  But when you do catch it, it is breathtaking and simple and beautiful.

Bubbers

Anna is classically two… but she is still herself… Anna… she is hard to explain but what kid isn’t?  Today I attempted to take her two-year pictures… not the worst experience in the world, but the majority of the pictures included her running at me screaming, “no picture!” and trying to hit me… that was fun having people watch in downtown Arvada.  She is a little sweetie, though, and she let me get a few good ones.

These are taken a few weeks later than I wanted to take them… but I hope to get back into more picture taking and have more to share with you all over the next few months as we transition into more new experiences with two kids in “big school” and Anna at “little school”.

Where she really wanted to be the whole time… she loves looking at the water fountains but really doesn’t want to go in…

A partial smle… yes, she is in the middle of saying “no” to me.

Love those piggies!

Not real sure about the picture taking…

“Ooooh, rocks!”

What most of the pictures looked like; Anna saying “no” and putting her hands up in my face or hitting me.  Ha!

Profile.

“No picture!”

“Oooh, flowers!”  She totally knew I was trying to trick her into pictures with these.

Little blondie.

Looking on.

“No, mommy!  No picture!”

“Mommy!  No!”  Sassypants!  Even though it’s a little fuzzy, this has to be my favorite picture of the bunch.  It is so Anna!