Thoughts on Artificial Christmas Trees

• Don’t lose the paper that has the color coding for the order of the limbs.  It must be in the box somewhere, so look for it.  If it’s not, replace the tree.  Do not think that because you’ve done it before that you can do it again.  Duh, you only put the thing up once a year.
• If you change what you do with your tree from year to year, it might be best to document that.  As in, if you decide not to use your largest row one year because of space reasons, maybe make a note about that.  Otherwise, because of bullet point #1 and forgetting about bullet point #2, you will put your limbs on in the wrong order and find yourself taking your tree apart to put it together again… correctly.
• Artificial pine needles are just as plentiful and horrible (if not more so) to suck up with the vacuum cleaner as real pine needles.  Don’t let the fake tree fool you.
• Artificial trees are potentially more dangerous than real trees.  Just ask to toddler whose older sister poked her in the eye with a fake tree limb.
• If the tree stand is broken, replace the tree.  Stat.  Or, at least plan to replace it next year.
• Based on a conversation with a coworker, do not buy a pre-lit tree.  Eventually those lights die and you have to put strings on anyway.  And then you’re just irritated that part of your tree works, part of it doesn’t and that you still have to put lights on.
• And, remember… a realistic looking fake tree doesn’t make the tree.  LIGHTS make the tree.  This is why I still love my post-Christmas-originally-$80-marked-down-to-$15 Christmas tree.  LIGHTS.

Erin