Mah Bebes

Here are pictures of my other two loves.

Raven is less than a month away from FOUR!  We are planning our first sleepover party with friends, and Minnie Mouse is our intended theme (though I believe if she had her way it would be a Bo-on-the-Go-My-Little-Ponies-Minnie-Mouse-Hello-Kitty party).  One of the best smiles on the planet; she always lights me up.  She starts Pre-K and will be in Miss Erika’s class starting next week; so hard to believe my precious baby is almost FOUR!  Love her!

Julia is five-going-on-fifteen.  She is a School Ager now at daycare, and starts Kindergarten on August 28.  Definitely the Little Mother in our family.  Definitely our Soft Hearted One.  Super duper excited about Big School and starting up ballet again next Saturday.  Gives the best Huggies and Kissies.  Love this girl!

Not dead yet.

I am continually amazed by the roses on our property; I do nothing to them, and they bloom.  And bloom some more.

My aunt Chris and cousin Dru came to visit this last weekend, and were TREMENDOUSLY helpful with turning a nasty yard into a beautiful place where I actually want to spend my time.

On one of our many trips to Lowe’s, we eyed the succulents, but we didn’t buy any until Sunday morning.  I had a great desire to create a succulent garden, but didn’t really know where I wanted to do it – then I eyed the bird bath that has sat empty (because duh, we’re in Colorado, and keeping a bird bath full is a daily activity, and I don’t do daily yard activities if I can help it)… and voila, a succulent garden!  Very happy with how it turned out.

Thank you so much to Chris and Dru for visiting – it was SO wonderful to have you here!  The girls miss you already and have been asking about “Grandma” Chris and “Mom’s Cousin Dru” and where they went.  Hee, hee.  And Adam says thanks for patching the hole in the ceiling… so much less for us to do!

love,
erin

15 Months on the 15th of August

Anna is 15 months old today!

Anna WALKED tonight for the first time!  (I am so thankful that I was able to witness this milestone for all three of my girls.) As luck would have it, as soon as she started, I said in a rather excited voice, “Oh, Anna, you good girl!” and this freaked her out, she started crying, and she sat down.  Heh.

Anna is down to using the bottle at night.  She uses a sippy cup during the day. We have successfully used the sippy cup at dinner time two days in a row without her pitching it so hard that it breaks.  Progress.

Words: uh oh, mama

Personality: Very obstinate; loving when she wants to be and NOT when she doesn’t; happy when she’s happy and ORNERY when she’s not – very good at throwing tantrums; definitely her own girl – so different than the two older girls!

Food likes: Strawberries still seem to be her favorite

Still 12 teeth.

Going camping for the first time tomorrow night.

Loves her owl blankie, but also has developed a bond with a number of stuffies in her crib.

Still sleeps on her tummy with her butt in the air.

Has transitioned really well to the Tiny Tots toddler room at daycare; naps on a mat without ANY problems – so cool!

LOVES shoes. LOVES.  (Mama’s girl!)

Happy 15 months, Anna!

Love, Mama.

“I’m a big kid now!”

Anna officially moved to the toddler room today – she’s not a baby anymore!  Sad mama.  Happy girl!

8/5 Randomness

• I turn 35 in 2 weeks.  WOOHOO!  Love birthdays and love my birthday!  Super excited for it!  I am taking the day off that day, and Adam and I are talking about different possible ideas for the day.  Should be fun!
  
• I have been on Gleevec (imatinib) for about 20 days now.  The main side effect I’m experiencing is bone pain, but that was expected, so other than it being more than a little irritating, I firmly believe it means that things are going well.  Fatigue is also still a problem, but nothing that I haven’t been able to deal with – I’m still working full-time, and other than slacking a bit in the home department, I have been hanging in there.
  
• Today I had a procedure called Essure performed.  Essure is a (as close to permanent you can get) permanent birth control.  For all intents and purposes, it is a tubal ligation.  The procedure in and of itself wasn’t so bad, but afterwards I was in a lot of pain, so I spent most of the day sleeping and completely overwhelmed with pain medication.  Doing well now, but of course I am wide awake after sleeping six hours in the middle of the day.  In about three months I’ll have an x-ray done to determine if the procedure worked or not.
  
• Thanks to my cube mate, who is Puerto Rican, I have a newfound love of Puerto Rican coffee.  Between that and my French press, I’m in heaven.
  
• I still plan on doing a Questions Regarding CML blog post; I just haven’t had much energy to put it together – hopefully soon!
  
• Julia starts Kindergarten on August 28th!  I’m so excited for her.  She is BEYOND excited and beyond ready.  I love that she is so excited about school!
  
• My aunt Chris and cousin Dru are flying out to visit this week.  Much fun will be had!
  
• Raven turns four in a little over a month – cuh-razy!  We waffled between a Bo on the Go, My Little Pony, and Minnie Mouse theme, but we’re going with Minnie Mouse.  I also plan to allow her and Julia to have their very first friend sleepover.  Wish us luck!
  
• Anna is communicating better; not necessarily with real words, but with “talking” and pointing to things she wants or needs.  She also is putting a lot more weight on her feet, moving / walking around furniture a lot more, and also letting go and standing solo for a bit of time here and there.  So proud of her!
  
• Adam has joined a new band, the Canyon Creek Band.  He will be going on a small tour with them to Arizona in September.  Lots of exciting times ahead!

That’s all for tonight! 

Erin

Sweet Relief

My doctor’s office called this morning – great news!

The insurance company approved the appeal and I am allowed to participate in the drug trial.  I am SO thankful!  What a cost savings for ALL parties involved!  YAY!

I will be stopping by my doctor’s office today to pick up the imatinib so that I can start it today.

YAY!  Thank you for all of the prayers, well wishes, and good thoughts.

erin

Trial Update

Today my doctor learned why insurance denied my admittance into the trial.  My company is self-insured and uses the insurance company to administer the insurance.  They wrote a clause into the insurance that specifically states that the insured are not allowed to participate in medical trials.  Why?  Because trials can cause more harm than good, and insurance companies don’t want to be on the hook for what might come after.

That being said – my trial arm is the SAME drug I will start NO MATTER WHAT.  And, to add to that, I will be monitored more closely and the pharmaceutical company pays for the drug – really, a win-win for the insurance company.

Today I also learned why I love my doctor so much.  His immediate response was to appeal the insurance company, show the cost benefit analysis for why I should be allowed into the trial, why it’s a benefit for the insurance company, etc.  I’m SO thankful to have such wonderful advocates for me at the Rocky Mountain Cancer Center.

I should know by next Monday or Tuesday; if the appeal is rejected, potentially I could appeal myself or simply choose to start the drugs.  I really hope I don’t have to make that choice, but we’ll see how it goes!

Bubby

Anna’s official nickname at 14 months old: Bubby.  Even her big sisters call her that now.  Very cute.  And she acknowledges it.  Love.

Anna is 14 months old today.  Tonight we sent her to bed with a sippy cup; she was very mad and fell asleep as far away from it as she could – girlfriend loves her bottle, but school is moving her to the next room in a month and we have 30 days to transition her from a bottle to a sippy cup.  I wish babies understood.  I wish daycare was more flexible with our more lax way of transitioning our kids from one milestone to the next. 

I rocked Anna tonight for a while; the hot tears fell heavy on her head.  It is hard for me to accept that she is my last baby – the last baby from my womb – and that she’s already 14 months old, and I want her to be a baby a little longer.  My heart is broken into a million pieces right now – I thought I had come to terms with not having more children, but every time I see a pregnant woman or a new baby, my heart breaks all over again.  Broken, broken, broken.  At least I will say, Anna was a good last.

(Note: I say this because I want to be open with my feelings; not so that others tiptoe around me or shut news and life away from me to shield me.  Very excited for the babies that my sister-in-law and sister are expecting; at least I will have ones to snuggle!)

About Anna at 14 months old:

Look: Blond hair (curls at the nape of her neck), blue eyes, but going the way of her sister, Raven (more steel / gray / green)

In her mouth: 12 teeth.  TWELVE.

Favorite food: Strawberries (recently ousting bananas)

Favorite snuggle toy: Owl blankie

Loves to: Dance, go up and down stairs, snuggle with mom or dad, be chased by big sisters, color with chalk on the kitchen floor, sit at the “big girl table”; crawls like a banshee – she can really move!; pick on Raven (someone in our family FINALLY has the ability to pick on Raven); get in her big sisters business.

Current sizes: 2T/24mo (YES, ACK), size 5 shoe (the 4s decided not to fit this weekend!); can fit into 18 month around the waist, but dresses are too short; size 3 diaper

Word: Uh oh.  Still nothing new out of her, though she babbles up a storm.

Loves anything her sisters love; scared of anything her sisters are scared of.  Tonight it was the fly.  I don’t think Anna ever SAW the fly, but the second the big girls started screaming, she immediately decided whatever it was was tear worthy. 

Similar issue with dogs.  The big girls are handling small dogs much better now, but they have instilled a fear in Anna.  And all animals, really. *sigh*

As started to throw tantrums.  Full out, flailing on the floor.  They are quite a site.  She is giving Raven a run for her money in “expressiveness.”

So glad that this little gal is part of our family – I think when it comes to kids, you never know what you’re missing, until they are in your life.  Six years ago I couldn’t imagine my life with three kids; now I cannot imagine my life without them.

Love you, baby girl!

erin

Things

Shout out to the in-laws for the card that drove the theme of today’s post.  And a shout out to everyone who has sent cards, emails, FB messages, gifts, etc. – your love is amazing. 

Things I do know:

- Anna is 14 months old today.  And she shouldn’t be.  (Har.)  I want to write a post just about her later.

- I was admitted into the drug trial.  YAY!  When I start, I have been placed under the imatinib drug arm.  It is good to know what the drug is and what the potential side effects may be.

- My insurance is refusing my admittance into the drug trial.  My doctor has decided to hold off on starting me on a drug hoping that a few more days of pestering the insurance company will get them to cave.  This was sad news to hear today.  I was supposed to start my drug treatment tomorrow; now I am not.

- I have reached my insurance deductible.  I am over halfway to meeting my out-of-pocket max for a single person for one year.  Now insurance starts covering % of my bills.  Yay, this is good, because I received a bill today for $750 and according to the insurance website, another one should arrive next week for $850.  Not yay.

- I am loved.  Greatly.  Thank you!

Things I don’t know:

- When for sure I’ll start the imatinib.

- What side effects for sure I will have.  Hopefully I’ll get over my vanity regarding puffiness quickly, especially if that becomes an actual side effect.

- Why insurance would deny my admittance into the drug trial.  What do they care?  Are they mad they won’t get drug money out of me?  (The drug is free to me for up to 10 years.)

- What I need and when I need it.  I have come to accept this and am resting in the knowledge.

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That’s all for now.  I came home from work early today; I am not feeling well.  Mostly tired.  REALLY tired.  A lot tired.  Nine hours of sleep last night and I slept three hours this afternoon.  It scares me that the drugs potentially make me more tired, but I am hopeful.  Thankful for a boss who is understanding.

erin

Baptism Gown

My dear mother-in-law made the baptism gown for my girls, so it seemed fitting for me to make one for someone else.  A few months ago my sister asked if I would be willing to make a baptism gown for a friend hers using said friend’s wedding gown, and since I’d never done that before, I said certainly, why not?

This is the result.

Very happy with how it turned out; thankful I was able to reuse the majority of the dress and the applique / beading that was originally on it.  I only had to purchase a lining for the skirt.  I even reused the zipper from the original dress in the back; no zippers or buttons added!  Sweet!  All in all, it was an awesome “first gown” project; I thought it would be more difficult than it was, but really, you just commit to destroying a wedding dress and hope that something spectacular results.

I used McCall’s 3063 Baby Baptism Christening Gown, Suit, Romper, Bonnet for the pattern.  (For those wondering, yes, after a point, I gave up on the pattern and figured it out the rest of the way “my own way.”)

Erin